UBs (Ugly Buggers)

EwwwwBs

There's been a TON of controversy surrounding these "Pokemon"? Not being officially recognised as Pokemon has left a lot of confusion over the legality of the UBs but, at the time of writing, they appear to be fully legal and usable in VGC17. Whether this is a good or bad thing seems to be the root of the complaints so I figured I'd give my two cents on the whole situation and look into the UBs individually to see just what the problem is! 

(Opinion: I hate them all they're ugly and break the ugly clause so can go away, this is coming from the guy who likes Vanilluxe...)

(Since at the time of writing the games aren't released yet the most I can do is speculate and give guesswork X/10 scores followed by a "Busted or not Busted")

(Note: All UBs have Beast Boost as the ability: it will raise the UB's highest stat when it scores a KO, à la Moxie on drugs. Letting a UB (especially Christmas Head) get a KO unpunished might be a grave error and could result in it just ripping you a new one. Be prepared!)

Nihilego
109 / 53 / 47 / 127 / 131 / 103
Rock / Poison
Beast Boost
7/10 Not Busted

Notable Moves:
Power Gem
Sludge Bomb
Grass Knot
Trick Room
Mirror Coat

Figured I'll do them in order starting with Lil Miss shower-cap-squid-thing, also known as Nihilego. My name is cooler though. 

The stats are heavily skewed in favour of Special Attack and Special Defense with a smaller emphasis on HP and Speed which are both still respectable. Its Attack is poor (but who cares) and its Defense is, well.... abysmal. This dastardly destroyer of metagames is felled by a simple Diglett throwing some mud on its face... pathetic.
Maybe I'm being too harsh considering its Special Attack is very respectable especially when acknowledging its strong speed tier of 103 (1 point above Garchomp). Its unique dual typing is interesting offensively as well, especially vs the countless Fairies running around in Alola. Rock is also quite handy to batter the inevitable bulky Fire types that are going to be prancing around.
The downside to this UB (other than its atrocious Defense stat) is the lacklustre set of potential move options. A common theme amongst the UBs actually is incredibly skewed stat distribution followed by a shallow movepool.


Buzzwole
107 / 139 / 139 / 53 / 53 / 79
Bug / Fighting
Beast Boost
4/10 Not busted

Notable Moves:
Lunge
Leech Life
Superpower
Hammer Arm
Ice Punch

Oh hey its a giant hench mosquito thing that probably bench presses a bus. Kinda looks like a Hulk Hogan / Larry the Lobster love child. Anyways, this big ugly bug is super strong! Its HP, Def and Attack are all way above average, with its Special Attack and Special Defense being absolutely horrid; the Speed tier is middling which isn't the worst thing considering the general speeds of the newer Pokemon in Alola. The problem here is the amount of faster Fairy and Psychic types roaming around ready to turn poor Buzzwole's mind to mush. It could hit back against Psychics with its Bug STAB were it not already dead. Heracross 2.0 here doesn't impress at first glance and we haven't gotten to the movepool yet...
Unsurprisingly it's pretty shallow but he does pack Ice Punch as coverage and Leech Life as strong STAB with added recovery. Its fighting options are lacklustre with no Close Combat, instead being forced to use Superpower or Hammer Arm. An Assault Vest might patch up Henchacross's poor SpDef but I doubt it will see much use. I'll happily be wrong, however!



Pheromosa
71 / 137 / 37 / 137 / 37 / 151
Bug / Fighting
Beast Boost
5/10  Might be busted?

Notable Moves:
U-Turn
Quiver Dance
Speed Swap
Hi-Jump Kick
Ice beam
Feint
Lunge
Bug Buzz

Okay I actually quite like the design of this one so I'm a liar when I said I hate them all. It looks like a lady who's a bug, but not a ladybug? Straight into the important stuff though... this thing is sooooooo fast! To the point where I'm actually afraid of it, mostly due to it learning the move Speed Swap, which will allow it to give a partner its speed stat. Picture a base 151 speed Wishiwashi, or maybe a Mudsdale, or even a Porygon Z if you're a madman!
The thought of this alone sends shivers down my spine. Its offensive capabilities are decent as well, sharing the same typing and almost the same Attack as the red Roidbug from earlier. The downside is its bulk overall is nothing short of shameful, falling to a single Gust from Pidgey... Priority moves will crush poor bug lady. Tapu Lele can be used alongside to block priority but its longevity on the field is incredibly limited regardless - might not be worth it. The gimmick potential with Speed Swap is what scares me the most here, in that regard Pheromosa isn't broken at all. But Speed Swap is a scary move so I'm unsure what to say about it... I'll leave it with a maybe for now.



Xurkitree
83 / 89 / 71 / 173 / 71 / 83
Electric
Beast Boost
8/10 Maybe Busted?

Notable Moves:
Thunderbolt
Grass Knot
Tail Glow
Discharge
Volt Switch

First thing's first. Its name is clever, it's an electric tree full of circuitry. Real smooth GF. Its head(?) is a glorified Christmas tree decoration and the body is just wires flying all over the place. I rather dislike this one although for reasons more than a strange design.
Its stats are incredibly average, "meh" bulk, decent Speed and holy moly it has 173 Special Attack! It's upon realising this you begin to realise why that is such a problem - you instantly look at its Speed stat and think "Choice Scarf". You then think "hmm, I want to make it stronger, lets add in Electric Terrain with Koko and maybe some Discharge spam? Or maybe I'll just run Tail Glow and blow things up that way." Whilst this UB is limited in the ways it can bring about ruin, it is certain that it WILL do so if you're unprepared. Its movepool is typically miserable, rocking very very little in the ways of coverage. It's likely ending using Grass Knot or Hidden Power Ice to hit Grounds and Dragons. Alola Marowak is probably one of the only Pokemon who can stand up to Christmas Head after a Tail Glow!
This UB has one job and that's to ravage as much as it can before it goes down. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Garchomp started running Sash/Scarf/Yache Berry just to destroy this thing. I for one am pretty terrified of Xurkitree; I'm unsure if its busted and will cause mass centralisation though, I doubt it so I'll leave another maybe for now.



Kartana
59 / 181 / 131 / 59 / 31 / 109
Grass / Steel
Beast Boost
8/10 Not Busted

Notable Moves:
Leaf Blade
Smart Strike
Sacred Sword
Night Slash
Psycho Cut
Laser Focus (lol)

Its a smol origami spaghetti monster! Its name is also a spark of genius from GF once again, their pun game is strong this year...
Say hello to Angry Ferrothorn! He got fed up of Legendaries beating him up in VGC16 and decided enough was enough, he's back with a vengeance! He also left his SpDef at home oops.
Serious talk though, why oh why does this thing have a higher base Attack than Mega Rayquaza?? It wont hit as hard since the BP on its moves aren't close to Dragon Ascent but still! Stupid stupid stupid! The benefits of this UB are its amazing Speed stat and strong STABs (especially when dealing with Fairies). Its movepool pretty much consists of 3 moves, those being Leaf blade, Smart Strike, and Sacred Sword (it learns more but eh)
The massive crippling downside to Kartana is its Special Defense being non-existent. Literally, it has none... Nincada has 1 less SpDef for reference, meaning even an Ember from something like Slugma in the rain will burn up this thing like I burn toast. Even resisted Special hits will deal a huge chunk to this UB.
So whilst it's one of the strongest attackers the game has ever seen and I'm terrified to have it Leaf Blade me... I don't think it is broken.



Celesteela
97 / 101 / 103 / 107 / 107 / 61
Steel / Flying
Beast Boost
8/10 Not Busted

Notable Moves:
Heavy Slam
Wide Guard
Flamethrower (lol)
Leech Seed (lol)
Earthquake
Air Slash

Game Freak... What the heck is this!?  It's a metal dress with a veil and giant rocket dicks for arms. I'm not impressed.... Honestly the worst design ever, I would rather look in the neighbours' bin than at this. Unfortunately for me, this UB seems to be the "best" at first glance so I'll be gouging my eyes out at events more than I usually would. RIP me.

So why is this the "best" one so far? Well its stats are surprisingly balanced compared to the rest, with nothing really standing out, instead opting for a well-rounded approach. It's also Steel/Flying which is SO GOOD! Pretty much Skarmory but with better stats and ability...  It also happens to weigh 999KG somehow, meaning Heavy Slam will more than likely be hitting for 120BP on most targets. Add in its natural synergy with Garchomp allowing EQ spam and you have yourself a cool 'mon. Personally however, I'm not a huge fan, and it's not due to it having rocket dick arms either. I'm not 100% sure on it so I'll have to wait and see what it turns out like in-game. For now though I can respect its great bulk combined with awesome typing and award it a big old 8/10.


G U Z Z L O R D
999 / 999 / 999 / 999 / 999 / 999
(223 / 101 / 53 / 97 / 53 / 43)
DARK / DRAGON
BEAST BOOST

1000/10 BUSTED HALP US
1/10

Notable Moves:
Wide Guard
Dark Pulse
Draco Meteor
Belch (lol)

Guzzlord is the greatest UB of all, it's so cool looking and I love it! (I lied twice now)
He will annihilate the format with his gaze alone and we should all just give up and bow to his might! Guzzlord will lead us to a new age of prosperity; donate to Guzzfund today to guarantee your place in this new age! Donations can be made to my PayPal...

All jokes aside, this UB (it pains me to say this) is the worst of the bunch... Its stand-out stat is its HP but the Defences are trout and its offences and Speed are nothing spectacular. It's pretty much a terrible Hydreigon, not to mention the amount of Fairies floating around. Guzzlord simply cannot keep up! I don't expect much use out of your boi at all to be honest... Apart from when I fancy using memes of course.




Closing thoughts:

Personally I don't find UBs to be that broken at all (at the time of writing anyways) They all have crippling weaknesses which can be worked around, lacklustre movepools or even both! I fully expect them to be used in the format however so preparing for them is a must. I don't feel like they're strong enough to the point of not using one being a stupid team decision.
I feel that if GF had simply called them something other than Ultra beasts, maybe the Binned Design Legends, we would've been more accepting of them... maybe even give them the Mimikyu treatment and make us feel bad for them. The only one I feel bad for is the Steel one since it has rocket dick arms :]

Jokes aside, I'm excited to see what UBs add to the format and I want to try them out for myself! I'll see you at events and am super excited to see what everyone brings :]


-Matt