Donk(ey) Hammer
So I recently attended the London International Championships when I said I wasn't going to because I'm soooo good with money. The tournament was one of the most attended in Pokemon history and surprisingly one of the most fun! Given the huge CP and £££ payout the event offered I had to be top of my game and have a godsquad ready in the 2 week space between the games' release in EU and the actual event (whoever thought this was a good idea should probably have coffee spilt on their head).
This led to stress stress and more stress to find the team that was gonna get me some sweet dorra dorra.
Pre-Tourney:
So I had some ideas on what I wanted to use and what could be good, 99.9% of them were awful and I'm honestly ashamed I even suggested them. From Instruct + Fissure Golem to Banded Dhelmise I was in a dark place. The void had claimed me and I had to continuously get dragged back into the light. Unfortunately for everyone, I was right at home there and pretty much became the void, showering friends with 'amazing' ideas and generally ruining their team-building efforts with my genius.
I did attempt to build something serious, however, when the format came to PS. Day 1 I topped the ladder on about 4 accounts with SlushRush + Celesteela, Gyara, Chomp, Maro; that core would go on to kinda take over and be a thorn in my side. It's also super boring to play - fearing I'd fall asleep mid game, I started building something else.
I hopped from Weavile hyper offense to Weavile hyper offense to Weavile hyper offense. Nothing was working! My teambuilding had come to a halt and I was in a rut... 'til it was suggested that I stop using Weavile as it's a bit pants and try something else. This was the birth of Ninetales. One of my favourite 'new' Pokemon, this vixen filled the lovely role of fast spread spammer with tons of pressure. It also has RNG flowing out its' arse but I'll get into that later...
Now I have a lone Ninetales in the builder, and whilst that can (and did) win games on its own, I needed at least 4 Pokemon to compete. Naturally the next choice is a Tapu. But which one? I despise Lele because it fails my ugly check and goddamn is that thing ugly. Bulu is a hulk with a log on his head which is pretty cool. Koko is really fast but a bit weak in the damage department and Fini is adorable and I love it to bits. That settled it, I was using Fini. This didn't last however - I heard the moans of poor Magikarp in my sleep, calling to me from 2014. My boi Gyarados had to be used. Condolences to Fini, I still love you and you're actually pretty strong. It's just I'm already in a stable relationship with Gyarados. I hope you understand.
So with my love affair with a big blue snake rekindled I had to continue building a godsquad. I was on 2 members and finding myself stuck. I figured since I'm an atrocious player who literally cannot function without Fake Out I needed to find a user of that ASAP. Weavile was rubbish so I forgot about it instantly, Persian was really really cool but at the time it wasn't clear whether Parting Shot would be legal so I avoided building with it (ended up legal, thanks TPCI for telling us sooner you turds). With Ninetales getting blasted by Marowak and Gyara being a soft check to it, I figured a dirty wrestler cat called Incineroar might be good. It offered a way to KO Marowak (after Hail chip), a way to KO Celesteela and that sweet, sweet Fake Out. I also threw on Incinium for Malicious Moonsault which I'll cover later!
I now had 2 cats and a snake; I needed a Tapu still so I think I just threw in Koko for the fun of it. Koko is a cool coconut that appreciates a dead Marowak at the hands of Gyarados and Incineroar, strong Electric STAB also took care of bulky waters like Milotic and Gyarados (assuming Marowak was rip). It was also another way to crush that stupid Celesteela thing that I hate so much.
The big issue here was Incineroar's Speed stat and a weakness to Trick Room in general. Marowak in TR was absolutely stomping me, and rather than bank on it not getting up in the first place, I decided to add a funky little check to it... Mudsdale. He is the thiccest horse around and I want to give him a cuddle. Muds checks a surprising amount of Pokemon in the format and its' single target Ground attack, High Horse-Power, is incredibly strong. Stamina is also a really stupid ability to abuse.
Now for the dreaded last slot, although it wasn't really that hard for a change. I needed a T-Room mode of my own to let Muds roflstomp at will if the opponent didn't want to set it up. Oranguru is a bit pooper in the team and as much as I wanted to use Eggnecky, I couldn't justify it. This left that dirty duck Porygon2 as the sole survivor of my viable TR elimination squad. I threw it in the team and oh boy... it's so fat and it just refuses to die, it's the lil duck that can! Such a solid Pokemon and such a thorn in the side to play against.
So I had a team and it played nicely enough, unfortunately it was the Sunday before the event and I had nothing in-game. Queue constant stress, anxiety attacks and the biggest burnout in history. It killed me (hunting for shinies really didn't help me save time oops) but I got the team. It was also Wednesday by the time I finished so no BS practice for me!
The Tourney:
I registered my team, then had to level up Jade's lv28 Marowak cus I'm a freakin imbecile and thought it would auto-level, oops. It all worked out in the end though so it's fine. I got my amazing super cool hat and went for an early night. lol jk we all got absolutely destroyed by alcohol and had a blast. I'm not detailing it since I might get banned but, oh boy, if you ever want to have some fun come drink with the squad - you'll play Ring of Fire and make a new friend called Stephen who may or may not be a plant.
Moving on... I was both hungover and still drunk on the morning. This spelt disaster but it was fine since my iron (dead) liver was super resilient and I survived long enough to make player meetings then actually 'play' in the tournament.
Before I start I'll show the team in all its' glory and explain it a bit!
TEAM BOIS:
Ninetales-Alola (<3 Fairytale <3) @ Focus Sash Ability: Snow Warning
Level: 50
EVs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
- Aurora Veil
- Blizzard
- Icy Wind
- Protect
AAAAAAA ISN'T IT ADORABLE <33333
On a more serious note Ninetales is amazing. Having fast spammable Blizzard, speed control in Icy Wind and a stupid move in Aurora Veil allowing it to double the bulk of your team in an instant makes this quite the cool Pokemon. Sadly it has pretty severe 4 moveslot syndrome - having extra options in Freeze Dry and Encore means it's hard to actually settle on a set. Whilst Icy Wind was incredibly useful on the day, I can't help but feel Freeze Dry might've been better, just to snipe away Pelipper, Gyarados and Gastrodon, all of which were a nuisance and out in force.
Ninetales accidentally became the MVP of the team when my frost wizard powers were reawakened from years of deep slumber. I got multiple freezes in EVERY set on Day 1. I'd feel bad but it became a bit of a meme - I'm sure I have haters now as a result, shame I genuinely don't care haha. Sash was almost required since Ninetales is super frail and can get OHKO'd by tons of common neutral hits.
Ability: Intimidate
Level: 50
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Waterfall
- Ice Fang
- Protect
- Dragon Dance
Guess who's back, back again. ZICAR'S back, Hide your wives! Zicar is an old fren of mine and I admit that we had a relationship, It broke off when I fell for Yveltal though </3 He's back now though and cooler than ever, especially with no Groudon around to shut his s**t down.
Gyarados is a cool guy though, Intimidate + Ground immunity is invaluable this format, the 4x weakness to Electric is unfortunate but easily built around. Its' strong typing allows it to set up DDs on a lot of the format making Gyarados a major offensive threat if left unchecked. Sitrus was honestly a throwaway item and I should probably have used something else. Maybe Splash Plate to gain some OHKOs? I should run calcs, haha. The berry did come in handy at some points though so I can't fault it too much.
Ability: Electric Surge
Level: 50
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Thunderbolt
- Volt Switch
- Dazzling Gleam
- Protect
My wit is honestly top tier with these nicknames. I'm sure no one will agree with that but shush guys I want to be creative and name a GUARDIAN DEITY after some cereal. If Tapus existed I'm fairly certain I would be struck down with great vengeance as punishment for my blasphemous nicknames...
but I digress, Koko is a very simple Pokemon. Send it in, attempt to deal big damage, rinse repeat. This was too simple for me however so I added Volt Switch for momentum purposes and by golly did it pay off! Volt Switching an opposing Tapu and denying them the KO was really strong. You can also switch out Gyarados, use Volt Switch and bring it back in for some ghetto double Intimidate action!
I could've possibly run HP Poison (don't smite me oh great and powerful deities!) to snipe Bulu but that might be a bit too dark. Even for me...
Ability: Blaze
Level: 50
EVs: 220 HP / 252 Atk / 4 Def / 12 SpD / 20 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Fake Out
- Flare Blitz
- Darkest Lariat
- Protect
Obligatory Crash Bandicoot related nickname.
Past 3 years I've had Ripper Roo the Kangaskhan but, since Kang is now literally Ripper Roo, I've had to adapt. Not exactly the same thing as Tiny the Tiger but I'm trying my best here okay.
Past 3 years I've had Ripper Roo the Kangaskhan but, since Kang is now literally Ripper Roo, I've had to adapt. Not exactly the same thing as Tiny the Tiger but I'm trying my best here okay.
Incineroar is a really niche and attractive Pokemon. Its' colour palette, type and movepool appealed to me massively. Dark/Fire is honestly really strong - we've only had squishy Houndoom in the past so we never really saw what it could do, but its offensively and defensively solid. Not having access to Intimidate hinders this Pokemon massively but that's not to say it's a bad choice. The dual STABs it carries can KO 2 of the most prevalent Pokemon in the format (these being Marowak and Celesteela) and it can also deal with Bulu, Koko and Lele.
The item choice is an interesting one - Incinium Z grants access to Malicious Moonsault which, aside from being a base 180 Dark-type attack that looks stunning, lets it KO some really strange stuff. Incineroar can OHKO Garchomp, Gyarados before Intimidate, Oranguru, Tapu Lele, Marowak at -1. The list goes on, its worth just exploring the calcs yourself. The EVs look funky but they were just to make sure I outsped Celesteela outside of Trick Room, although they seemed to be creeping each other so it may have been wasted investment. Who knows!
Mudsdale (Robin Thicc) @ Assault Vest
Ability: Stamina
Level: 50
EVs: 204 HP / 252 Atk / 52 SpD
Adamant Nature
IVs: 12 Spe
- High Horsepower
- Close Combat
- Rock Slide
- Heavy Slam
One of if not my favourite Gen 7 Pokemon. He is a good fren and thoroughly deserving of his Best Horse title. He's also thicc af and he tries his best to kick everything as hard as he can.
Sadly though, this particular horse is cross-eyed or just outright blind. I missed more High Horsepowers than I hit and it cost me so much... but do not worry my chubby friend! I still love you!
Anyway, Close Combat is honestly a bit pants but lets you hit Celesteela for a decent chunk which is appreciated, Rock Slide is a fun move under TR and lets you hit Gyarados harder or just be a nob and flinch things, Heavy Slam lets you crush Tapus under your thicc rump. Muds weighing in similarly to Groudon means Heavy Slam tends to be base 120 on targets, ensuring a good crushing. Assault Vest just increases the bulk on the Special side a bit and is generally a good choice for our horse friend. EVs do something regarding Lele which I cant remember, haha. IVs are just what I had in-game oops
Ability: Download
Level: 50
EVs: 252 HP / 156 Def / 52 SpA / 36 SpD / 12 Spe
Calm Nature
IVs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe
- Ice Beam
- Toxic
- Recover
- Trick Room
This lil guy looks like my duck fren from over the local nature reserve. Yes that sounds lonely as anything and I'm secretly an old man who feeds the ducks every morning. Exposed!
Duck fren is the backbone of the team though and an absolute crutch in harder matchups. It can switch in to almost any attack safely and heal it off, annoying (and tilting) my opponent. Just running Ice Beam would've been annoying if I didn't freeze everything, so I didn't mind too much. Toxic was a last-minute addition and a fantastic one at that. I won so many games from Toxic stalling - in Day 2 especially, where the teams started to become unbreakable from an offensive standpoint. I have no clue what the EVs do nor am I about to find out. You could run 252/252 on this thing and it'd still be sturdier than the iron case around my heart ;-;
The Weekend:
Sadly my note taking is abysmal as always and I don't remember my games well enough to document them accurately without triggering someone, so I won't. Just imagine that I froze everything and didn't deserve Day 2 in the slightest instead!
I managed to squeak into Day 2 with a 7-2 record which meant I couldn't drop a game at all that day if I hoped to cut. This was a fairly impossible task but I vowed to try my best anyways. Sadly, I was preoccupied on other things that day which affected my play considerably and I finished 2-3 on Day 2, which I'm honestly a bit embarrassed about since I know I can do better. I can only blame myself, however, and use it to fuel myself to do better in the future! I ended up finishing 43/565 which is okay I guess. I'm at the point now where I'm hungry for the gold finish so I tend to become disappointed. Now gonna work on helping everyone else get the strong finishes they deserve since I'm nice like that and it's lonely cutting tournaments on your own ;)
All in all I'm still super proud of my performance and also the performance of my friends. We did our best and it showed <3 I had a fantastic weekend away in London with my favourite people in the world and I can't wait til the next tournament so we can do it again. Hopefully with less plants and hubcap searches next time :)
Top tip: The best hangover cure is Blizzard freeze RNG plus Philadelphia and pasta sandwiches.
P.S: If I froze you, I'm so sorry. I hate winning games like that; it's not fun for either side. I hope we can play again on fairer terms again some time.
"I'll get 'em next time, just gotta try my best again"
- Matt
